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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to
teach you anything!
Son   : That's why I say she's no good!

it’s the same dog!

Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!  


say sorry

Dad : "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and
say sorry to her"
Son : (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are
stupid.

that’s what i want

Manager      :  Sorry,but I can't give u a job. I don't
need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right
person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!  

how did shakespeare write master pieces?

Teacher: "How do u think Shakespeare wrote such master
pieces?"
College student: "With a pencil, maam, either a 2B or not 2B."   (来源：英语学习门户网站EnglishCN.com)