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Teacher: "Spell 'WATER',"  
Girl   : "HIJKLMNO."
Teacher: "That doesn't spell 'WATER',"
Girl   : "Yes, it does it's all the letters from 'H to O'."

all of me

Teacher: "Where were u born?"  
Student: "Singapore,
Sir." Teacher: "Which part?"  
Student: "All of me, Sir."

thank goodness

"Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any
brothers or sisters who will be  coming to school."
"That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear.
What did she say when u told  her u are the only child?"
"She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"

difference

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference
between 'unlawful' and  'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
(来源：英语麦当劳www.EnglishCN.com)

"unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't
allow and 'illegal' is a sick  eagle."