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如何应对:

I’ve come to realize that when people initiate conflicts, it is actually an expression of their inner state expressed externally. You, your personality, your looks or your actions have nothing to do with it. It is not personal, so why take it personally? (来源:英语学习门户网站EnglishCN.com)

我渐渐意识到,每当人们激起矛盾,这实际上是一种将内在状态外化的表现。你、你的个性、你的外貌还有你的行为与此无关。这并不是关乎某个人的事情,所以为什么认为这是针对你的呢?

4. That person, who cuts in front of everybody in line

插队到最前面的人

This is something that gets me worked up. Even if I have plenty of time and I am not in a hurry, I still feel bad for the other people in line who are being treated unjustly. Are you more patient than I am or do you feel this kind of frustration too?

这种事让我感到很气愤。即使我有大把的时间,即使我并不着急,我仍然会为受到不公待遇的其他人感到糟糕。你是比我还有耐心呢,还是也会感到这很令人抓狂?


What to do about it:

如何应对:

First, it helps to remember that where our attention goes, our energy flows. If we nurture negative thoughts or think of spiteful remarks then we are wasting our energy on negativity, instead of on our personal wellbeing. Situations like this could be a great opportunity to learn to control our initial negative responses and practice understanding.

首先,这帮助我们记住:我们的注意力在哪里,我们的精力就流向哪儿。如果我们滋养了消极的想法或者想出了尖酸刻薄的话语,那么我们就是在将精力浪费在消极的事情上,而不是在我们的个人幸福上。类似这样的情形可能是一个学习控制内在消极反应、练习理解的绝佳机会。

After all, we don’t know why the person is cutting in front of everyone in line: maybe they just have a quick question or maybe there is an emergency.

毕竟,我们不知道为什么那个人要插队到所有人的前面:或许他只是想很快地问个问题,或者可能出现了紧急情况。

5. People that give our kids noise-making toys as a present

把制造噪音的玩具当礼物送给我们孩子的人

Last week I babysat my niece and I actually made this mistake. I bought her one of those fancy kids’ cellphones that makes sounds when you press the buttons and plays 3 different melodies. By the end of the 4th hour of her calling me and our “imaginary” friends I was actually contemplating ‘accidentally’ dropping and breaking the stupid thing.

上周,我临时照看我的侄女,我就真的犯了这个错误。我给她买了一个精致的儿童手机,一按键就会发出声音,播放3种不同的音乐。在结束了长达4个小时她对我以及“假想”朋友的呼叫之后,我真的在冥思苦想如何“不慎”摔坏这个讨厌的东西。

The solution to the problem was finally obtained – to wait for the right moment and then take the batteries out!

这一问题最终有了解决的方法——等待时机把电池拿出来!


What to do about it:

如何应对:

For starts, I would inform every friend and relative in your family that a drum set is off the limits. Second, I would declare that those who have the ‘genial’ idea of giving annoying noise-making toys to your children should be the ones babysitting your excited off-springs.

首先,我会通知每个亲友拒收架子鼓。其次,我会声明:那些想“友好地”送给孩子会发出恼人噪音的玩具的人,应该加入到临时保姆的行列,照看兴奋不已的孩子。

This technique definitely worked miracles for me.

这个方法显然为我创造了奇迹。

6. Friends that tell you “I told you so”

跟你说“我早就告诉过你”的朋友

It is one thing to admit that you made a mistake and another to hear it from a person that you actually consider your friend. Friends should be there to support you and cheer you up when you are feeling down, not make themselves feel better at your expense, right?

这是在你犯了一两个错误后,会从一个你真的将其当作朋友的人那里听到。朋友应该是在你身边支持你,当你沮丧的时候鼓励你振作的人,而不是以你为代价而让自己感觉良好,对不对?

What to do about it:

如何应对:

It helps to keep in mind that when people say “I told you so”, they are trying to say, “I hope that you will listen to my advice in future”. Surprisingly enough, it is their way of protecting you from future mistakes (even if this strategy does not make you feel any better). If this is not the help you need – voice it out, without getting defensive. Bring the conversation back to what they can do to help you deal with the situation.

记住这一点会对你有帮助:当人们说“我早就告诉过你”的时候,他们是在试图说,“我希望你今后能听取我的建议”。非常令人惊讶的是,这是他们保护你,避免你日后犯错的一种方式(即便这一策略并没有让你感觉好受)。如果这不是你所需要的帮助,大声说出来,不用有所戒备。回过头来交谈一下他们能帮你做些什么来帮你解决问题。

7. Co-workers that always have to have the last word

总是强辩到底的同事

Some people still believe that “Truth is Born of Arguments”. So they drag you into an argument and then make it their goal to prove to you that they are right (even if you both know it is not the case).

 
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