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Teacher: "Chong, u missed school last Friday."
Chong  : "You're wrong, Sir."  
Teacher: "Wrong, how is that?"
Chong  : "I was absent, yes but I certainly didn't miss it!"

bad news and very bad news 2

Patient : I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor  : You've had an accident involving a train.
Patient : What happened?
Doctor  : Well, I've got some good news and some bad
news. Which would you like to hear first?
Patient : Well... The bad news first ..
Doctor  : Your legs were injured so badly that we had
to amputate both of them.  
Patient : That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor  : There's a guy in the next ward who made a
very good offer on your  slippers.  


bad news and very bad news

Doctor  : I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient : Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor  : The lab called with your test results. They
said you have 24 hours  to live.
Patient : 24 hours! That's terrible!! What could be worse?
What's the very bad  news?
Doctor  : I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.  
 
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