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Mr.Hunter is a famous scientist.He has made an importantinvention recently.He wanted to take his papers to Londonhimself,but his daughter did not let him do so.
又如，Mr,Brown is the manager of the shop.I am only hisassistant.Mr.Brown will decide the price of all goods in theshop.
第三个句子的中心意思，显然是要强调只有布朗先生才能决定商品的价格，但是原句没有把这个意思突出出来，所以最好把它改为It isMr.Brown,not I who will decide...或The price...will bedecided by Mr.Brown,not by me.
2.前后连贯。这是指一个句子里的词语要衔接得当，关系清楚，合乎逻辑。例如：
* I do not like to sing or dancing.
这里sing和dance都是like的宾语，但前面用不定式，后面用动名词，就显得不平衡，句子的连贯性就差。所以应改为I do not like tosing or to dance.
又如* Although very tired,the stepmother forced Aqiao tocut qrass for the sheep.
这个句子按理是说虽然阿巧很累了，继母还强迫她割草。但原句条理不清，说成是继母很累，还强迫阿巧割草。这样的句子连贯性也很差，应改为
Although Aqiao was very tired,the stepmother forced her tocut...或
Although very tired,Aqiao was forced(by the stepmother)tocut...
3.简练。不要堆砌修饰性词语。在没有把握的情况下，不要用从句。应该多用简单句。例如翻译如下一句：“当我在打乒乓球的时候，就决定要到湖里去游泳。”有以下两种译法： (来源：英语学习门户 http://www.EnglishCN.com)
①While I was playing table tennis,I decided that I would go for a swim in the lake.
②While playing table tennis,I decided to go for a swim inthe lake.
以上两句从语法上讲都正确，但第二句简洁，运用了一个短语代替了一个从句，达到了简洁的目的。
又如，When Christmas was coming,Della had not enongh moneyto buy Jim,who is her husband,a present,so she went to a shopto sell her hair in order that she could buy a gold chainworthy of Jim's gold watch.
这个句子过份冗长，既有并列句，也有复合句，复合句中既有时间状语从句、目的状语从句，还有定语从句。与其辛辛苦苦去构筑这样的复杂句子，还不如把它分为几个简单句，显得轻松、洗练一些。
Christmas was coming.Della had not enough money to buy apresent for his husband Jim.So she had to sell her hair.Aftershe got the money,she bought Jim a gold chain.
下面再谈谈初学写作时在造句方面常出现的一些错误实例。
1)句子冗长累赘、意思重复，例如：
①The army advanced forward after the big battle.（一场大的战斗后，部队向前进发。）这个句子的问题在于句中的"advanced"本身就是"march forward"的意思，而在其后出现"forward"实属多余，应去掉。
②The reason why I took off my coat was because I felt hot.用词多，绕圈子，太罗嗦。可以改成：I took off my coat,becauseI felt hot.简短明了。只要句意明确，多余部分应尽量删去。
2)修饰语的位置不对。修饰语的位置用错直接影响意思的准确表达。这一点在文章上一部分已谈到。我们再来看两个例子。
①I nearly lost five dollars yesterday.
I lost nearly five dollars yesterday.
这两句话由于nearly的位置不同，其含义也截然不同。第一句“我昨天差点丢了5美元”，言下之意是：没丢钱。第二句“我昨天丢了近五美元”意思是我丢了钱。不过不到5美元。
再如：②She decided not to go.他决定不去了。She did notdecide to go.他没决定去呀。否定词用在不同的位置上，意思大不一样。因此，平时在阅读和练习中要注意。
3)代词所指不明确。例如：
Peggy held a piece of bread and jam in one hand and thetelephone receiver in the other.She kept eating it while shetalked.后面一句话中的"it"指什么呢？指"a piece of bread andjam"还是指"telephone receiver"，这使人费解。在英语写作中要避免这种指代不清的句子。这句话可改为：Peggy held in one hand thetelephone receiver and in the other a piece of bread and jam,which she kept eating while she talkcd.
4.模糊不清的比较。例如：
①I like John as much as Tom.这句话里究竟是I like John asmuch as I like Tom，还是I like John as much as Tom likes John.这种比较模糊不清。
②My home is nearer to our school than yours.不知这里的yours是指your home.还是your school.这句话应改为：My home isnearer to our school than yours is.或My home is nearer to ourschool than it is to yours.
③Tom is taller than anyone in his class.这里的比较是不符合逻辑的，因为被比较的对方包括了Tom和他班里的任何人（他自己也不例外）。 |
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